Peace found in Piis

October 2, 2006 (Day 54 of Chuuk)

To see the face of god in all things, that is my new challenge. The beauty of this weekend on Piis was that God was so present. With my struggle of wondering where I am, why I am here, and how to find God in it all. Trying to find a place for my spirituality beyond a superficial surface lead of prayer and meetings, but really allowing myself to find God. And I think of the struggle for me is not a matter of me being bad or superficial as much, but rather how I experience my spirituality is different than other people. I found that I experience God in community and I am finding this again and again. It is like Dorothy Day wrote in the postscript of her autobiography,

“Our very faith in love has been tried through fire” “We cannot love God unless we love each other. We know him in the breaking of the bread. And we know each other in the breaking of the bread, and we are not alone anymore…We have known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community. It all happened while we sat there talking, and it is still going on.”

This quotation was lived out this weekend on Piis. Perhaps my feeling of struggle with spirituality was just that a long loneliness to feel God to find God in something here. Something concrete. Of course God is in the sunsets, the rain, the calls home. But I need to feel God in others. But it was in the breaking of the bread with the youth that we shared. As is much the custom here in Chuuk. When you are told “Samongo” you are invited to break bread, and invitation into community. Here, people shouldn’t eat alone, people shouldn’t be alone, and that is the custom. And so it went that companionship is born. It was born this weekend in silly faces and guitar playing. We let the other languages we know make up for the ones we could not speak. And through that, love was found. We found communion with each other and it was shared through out. I felt God hold me this weekend.

As I heard Kaspar speak I felt God. My heart was racing to speak, although lost in translation I spoke to the people of Piis my heart. I felt God as I knelt down to pray and as I walked out of the church, I felt God surround me as the people of the community surrounded me, welcoming me in as one of them. I felt at home, I felt exactly where I needed to be. You could’ve left me there for hours, days, and weeks, and I think I would make a home of that place, that small island. But not in all of my time of being here in Chuuk, have I felt so right about being here as I did at that moment. And this question that I have been asking myself of why I am here slowly began to become a bit clearer. Yet it is not answered entirely yet. There was an element of awe that I was left with, in how humbling it all was. For me to be a volunteer, but to be continually served and that is how are lives have been here in Chuuk. We are constantly being served. In so many ways by Sr. Erencia, by the Community and this weekend, I was humbled as my feet were washed so that I may go out and wash the feet of others.

From the moment we walked into the “Ut” and even before as everyone gathered around to hear me play guitar, and then as we walked down the huge collection of people shaking hands. There was really no knowing what God had in store, I had no idea how much my life would be touched by the lives of those people. Who even at that moment I couldn’t see their faces. God had a plan and the Holy Spirit lived and worked and it was most excellent to feel the love that community shared. To see the young at heart come around to see what I was doing with the kids as they watched from the outside and laughed along when I made a silly face. And it was so awesome when I would just stand to play and then all the kids would just run and gather. What an amazing gift! I really think I would love to have kids if that is my calling, if God so be pleased with that, but after my experiences in Siis and on Piis, I am finding that I love children immensely and I see God so present in the face of every child. From the point of walking down that row of people with the “mar mar” being placed on us, till the moment we left, there was something special happening there. In La Bamba, in silly faces, in dancing and in laughter, it was all such an amazing gift. And that sending off, how great it was to be playing with the kids until the moment I left. Then, trying to hide and how they took care of me and watched after me with care. I don’t remember her name but I think it was Atreann, I knew it was something like that. But she was bold and had strength. She will be a great leader one day. Alfred, the president of the youth, I can see why he is the leader. He is a great speaker, and knows how to gather the love of his people. He is fun and serious and his youth group is blessed to have him. As goes for Kaspar, Junior and the other strong, bold leaders. There is a gift that every single one of them has and to unite them in friendship, leadership and God, it is a most excellent combination, to see the fruit of God’s labor. The sending off, walking down the line of shaking hands, again the honored guest, but now, with a history, with memories and smiles. Now with love placed in our hearts. And as we boarded the boat with a little or for me a lot of hesitation, Kaspar holding on to my arm to not let me go, our boat left shore with a mountain of people gathered on the shore to wave good bye till they lost sight of our boat in the sea.

The challenge I face and will continue to face will be of living this experience out daily. Feeling God all around me should not have to stop. As I sat up at the front of the meeting hall, and stared out, and saw the face of God staring right back at me, that feeling is not limited to my time and experiences in Piis. Every time I stand in from of the classroom there are 36 faces of God staring right back at me. That experience of finding God in the laughter and smiles does not and is not limited. It might be a challenge to step back and see God’s face in the trouble makers and those that don’t try or do their homework, and those that aren’t paying attention. But God is in all of them, and I need to make sure that I am showing and shining God through me too. Love knows no boundaries. There is no one language for things like love and laughter, and so I must continue to radiate that love and laughter, and share in the aspects of life that language cannot tie down. God will be there, and there God will shine and so will I.